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lincolnkw"But how would you get a cat into the lederhosen?"
Snarf.
OK. Not really. Here's the pondering.
Size Queen.
What exactly constitutes a size queen?
Is there a cutoff length?
How big is too big?
How small is too small?
Is it the length or the girth?
Is it like breasts, where more than a handful is a waste?
Does the foreskin really matter?
Enthusiasm or staying power?
Why am I asking these questions?
Is Lincoln a pervert?
Is he a size queen?
Stay tuned for the answers.
Same bat-time, same bat-shannel.
Sorry, my brain slipped out.
I'm tired.
Too much caffeinne.
Not paying attention.
My fingers are in control.
The penguins rule the world.
I'm out of chocolate.
I've been listening tocartton theme songs for the last two hoursa.
Oompa loompas.
Snarf.
OK. Not really. Here's the pondering.
Size Queen.
What exactly constitutes a size queen?
Is there a cutoff length?
How big is too big?
How small is too small?
Is it the length or the girth?
Is it like breasts, where more than a handful is a waste?
Does the foreskin really matter?
Enthusiasm or staying power?
Why am I asking these questions?
Is Lincoln a pervert?
Is he a size queen?
Stay tuned for the answers.
Same bat-time, same bat-shannel.
Sorry, my brain slipped out.
I'm tired.
Too much caffeinne.
Not paying attention.
My fingers are in control.
The penguins rule the world.
I'm out of chocolate.
I've been listening tocartton theme songs for the last two hoursa.
Oompa loompas.
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no subject
Date: 2003-03-28 10:58 pm (UTC)*looks down at my DD breasts*
*sniff*
Re:
Date: 2003-03-29 08:30 am (UTC)*pets you*
It's just a personal preference.
Your breasts are the exception to the rule.
or does that sound wrong?
no subject
Date: 2003-03-29 09:16 am (UTC)But then again..since you "play for the other team" isn't any amount basically a waste?
Oh, Nonsense, Dear Child.
Date: 2003-03-29 09:34 am (UTC)Re: Oh, Nonsense, Dear Child.
Date: 2003-03-29 10:06 am (UTC)Ooooh, the Kare-Glare. Must Take Cover.
Date: 2003-03-29 10:20 am (UTC)Face it, for a lot of slashers and LJers, my approval is the Kiss of Death. Or at least the Kiss of Considerable Feeling Run-Down and Feverish.
Re: Ooooh, the Kare-Glare. Must Take Cover.
Date: 2003-03-29 10:33 am (UTC)*frowns* Are you a bad boy? *wink*
Just to prove how incredibly fearless I am..I'm off to FRIEND you...no pressure to add me back...I just like to keep my eyes on all my devotes...will make it easier if I have you on my list.
(and yeah I know there's supposed to be an accent over the e..just have no clue how to put it on with my computer! *laugh*)
Me Bad, You Fearless.
Date: 2003-03-29 10:50 am (UTC)Re: Me Bad, You Fearless.
Date: 2003-03-29 11:02 am (UTC)Why, ThankYouMa'am.
Date: 2003-03-29 11:09 am (UTC)Re: Why, ThankYouMa'am.
Date: 2003-03-29 11:11 am (UTC)Oh, You Will.
From:Re: Why, ThankYouMa'am.
From:Glazed?
From:Re: Glazed?
From:Re: Ooooh, the Kare-Glare. Must Take Cover.
Date: 2003-03-29 09:09 pm (UTC)*sniffles*
It's so nice to see.
Re: Ooooh, the Kare-Glare. Must Take Cover.
Date: 2003-03-29 10:40 pm (UTC)Bondage On Your Page?
Date: 2003-03-30 09:37 am (UTC)Re: Bondage On Your Page?
Date: 2003-03-30 05:04 pm (UTC)Vanilla for the most part, remember?
Although, it is an interesting mental picture...
Beware the pointy stick!
Date: 2003-03-29 09:08 pm (UTC)And I've finally figured out who it was who introduced me to LJ. Canalbaby may have given me my code but it was either Gretchen or you whose link on their sight got me interested in the first place.
Oh, So It's MY Fault, Huh?
Date: 2003-03-30 09:35 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-03-29 08:55 pm (UTC)ouchies.
let us say when I _used_ to date women.
Re: Oh, dear!
Date: 2003-03-29 08:32 am (UTC)He's totaly at fault for this.Not my twisted little brain.
Nope. All him.
And welcome to my little corner of the world. no fiction here, just strangeness.
Now WAIT a Damned Minute Here.
Date: 2003-03-29 09:27 am (UTC)(Contemplates that with a slightly glazed-over look.)
WHAT Taken?!?
Date: 2003-03-29 09:57 am (UTC)Nope.
Date: 2003-03-29 11:07 am (UTC)'Point taken,' indeed. Snort. That's a 'tease' all right.
Paging Doktor Freud! Stat!
Date: 2003-03-29 11:22 am (UTC)Fingers hands other body parts
Date: 2003-03-29 09:02 pm (UTC)I can't believe I actually said that.
But it's true, I can get verification if needed.
Heh, or offer proof.
I'm naughty.
Again With the Claim to Talent.
Date: 2003-03-30 09:34 am (UTC)I'll watch. Nielsens through the roof, bay-bee.
My own cable program.
Date: 2003-03-30 05:17 pm (UTC)I'd probably get stage shy. It's one thing to be part of a crowd and not he center of attention, but flying solo, so to speak, is another thing entirely.
no not just strangeness.
Date: 2003-03-29 09:00 pm (UTC)And bitching about things that only one other person on LJ knows about, dothelancedance can commiserate with my work woes.
Cut-Off Length? Ouch.
Date: 2003-03-29 06:37 am (UTC)(I could say something about not getting my engraved invitation to your bris, but I'll refrain. And no mohel jokes, I promise.)
Re: Cut-Off Length? Ouch.
Date: 2003-03-29 08:33 am (UTC)I just meant is there a minimum for length to be considered big enough?
And it's waaay too late for a bris.
Minimum Lengths. Hmmmm.
Date: 2003-03-29 09:32 am (UTC)Personally, I'm not picky on this subject, though more is better and wretched excess is just enough ... but what really counts is what's on the other end of however many inches we're talking about: if that happens to be a cute, smart, charming guy, well, color me swept away.
Re: Minimum Lengths. Hmmmm.
Date: 2003-03-29 09:05 pm (UTC)'Wretched excess is just enough'
I sit here confused.
As a member of the exactly average group I learned to cultivate other...talents.
I know, TMI.
*whiny*
But it's funnn.
Talents?
Date: 2003-03-30 09:33 am (UTC)Re: Talents?
Date: 2003-03-30 05:15 pm (UTC)Hee. The mind boggles.
(And the fingers can't type)
no subject
Date: 2003-03-29 04:28 pm (UTC)Second thought: having once dated someone with a penis the size of a Buick, I can say first-hand (insert stupid joke here) that there is such a thing as "too big".
Third thought: I've decided to pretend that your post was a quiz. So here goes:
Q. What exactly constitutes a size queen?
A. Someone who asks how big you are before he knows your last name. Or your first name, for that matter.
Q. Is there a cutoff length?
A. I'm with
Q. How big is too big?
A. If my nose can't make it down to your pubes, it's too big.
Q. How small is too small?
A. If my nose *starts* in your pubes, it's too small.
Q. Is it the length or the girth?
A. Both. A true size queen doesn't view dick as an "either-or" proposition.
Q. Is it like breasts, where more than a handful is a waste?
A. I just called a straight male friend to ask, and he said that more than a handful is *never* a waste. And then he grunted. They do that a lot, I've noticed.
Q. Does the foreskin really matter?
A. I'll bet to the owner, it does. Just try tearing it off and see if he cares.
Q. Enthusiasm or staying power?
A. Enthusiasm. I don't have all day, you know. (sighs, sneaks look at clock on nighttable)
Q. Why am I asking these questions?
A. Because you've given up sex for Lent and they just came spurting out of your mind? Oh wait, that's me. And did I just type 'spurting'?
Q. Is Lincoln a pervert?
A. Yes, but a loveable one.
Q. Is he a size queen?
A. No idea. But if he is, I'd love to see what sort of scepter he got at the coronation.
Fourth thought: I need a life. *facepalms*
Okay, It's Official.
Date: 2003-03-29 05:05 pm (UTC)One supplemental point:
Okay, Lincoln. You go tell GOD ALMIGHTY He's obsessing over trivia throughout the whole O.T. I'll be hiding behind this nice burning shrub while you mouth off to JEHOVAH HIS OWN SELF.
And if you hear something divebombing you from above, shouting 'Torah! Torah! Torah!' - it ain't the Imperial Japanese Navy Air Wing.
Re: Okay, It's Official.
Date: 2003-03-29 09:25 pm (UTC)Which is rather surprising to me.
And umm, expressing my own ignorance of the bible here, what does it say on the subject?
What Am I, Your Local Rebbe?
Date: 2003-03-30 09:32 am (UTC)(Footnote: unless, like me, you have Jewish family members, I don't suggest this form of humor.)
Think, Lincoln. Moses (or Chuck Heston, as you prefer). Circumcision. Covenant. Okay?
Re: What Am I, Your Local Rebbe?
Date: 2003-03-30 05:13 pm (UTC)Research ahead for moi.
Re: Too damned funny!
Date: 2003-03-29 09:26 pm (UTC)I never knew.
Hmmm, I don't hink it would go over very well at our store's open mic night. I can see the faces of the old people now.
Re: Too damned funny!
Date: 2003-03-30 07:59 am (UTC)Re: Too damned funny!
Date: 2003-03-30 05:01 pm (UTC)the biggest turn out we ever had for an event (and the one that got us in the most trouble) was a tattoo event in my old store. We had no idea the artist was ging to actually DO a tattoo while there.
So many complaints. And compliments. 200 people showed.
can't breathe for the shocked laughing
Date: 2003-03-29 09:21 pm (UTC)I think I may have to answer the mmyself.
yay!
More with the shockingness.
And I totally agree, having been there also, that there is such a thing as too big. A third leg is not what I want.
no subject
Date: 2003-03-29 04:30 pm (UTC)Didn't PInky say "narf", not "snarf"?
[geek_mode = OFF]
Re:
Date: 2003-03-29 09:22 pm (UTC)