lincolnkw: (lincolnkw)
[personal profile] lincolnkw
So the question has arisen across LJ, "what would you change in the past?"

My answer is usually "nothing", what I did then has made me the person I am today, and while there are things currently I'd like changed (and am in the process of doing so, with some) the things from the past I'd let lie.

Not quite true.

Five Things I'd Do Differently
1. Not go into a four year University after High School. the culture shock was too much and I couldn't handle the change. Go into a CC, get the Gen Ed requirements out ofthe way in smaller classes when you'd have more teacher feedback. THEN transfer over. Maybe I would actually have finished.

2. Not started dating Bill. That relationship should have stayed on a friendship level. I learned to recognise the sigs of cheating from it, and betrayal by both your best friend and your lover is not fun.

3. Not started drinking or using drugs. Addictive personality + easy access = bad combination. Mounting bills, getting fired, becoming homeless. Finally woke myself up. It did teach me my limits and exactly how strong I am. I'm still trying to clean up after that time.

4. Stick with the music and art! Damn, this one Ishould have stuck with, I have friends who work at the Disney studios, design CDs, work in comics, play in orchestras and act on stage. But dammit, I like retail.

5. Better financial planning. Damn my parents, impulse spenders, both of 'em. None of us kids have a very good handle on financial stuff from the way we were raised. Still trying to work on that.

Really though, most of the above I've learned from and have helped form who I am today. I know my personal limits, I never let stress get to me in an adverse way, I'm probably the most easy going person you will ever meet, it takes LOADS to get me angry (except for my hot buttons) and I communicate better.

and to make it even

Five Things I Would NOT Change

1. growing up in a military family. As much as the moving around alot and not forming very many close friendships until High School. I learned alot about travel, been many places in the USand knwo alot of people nationwide.

2. Going into retail. I'm strange, I know. I like working retail. Iwant my own store. Books, music, etc.

3. my sexuality. I like being gay. I like men, I like sex with men, I like cuddling with men, I likethat it makes me different and helps me to stand out.

4. for the most part I'm happy with myself physically. I have the damned Truby chin, but I'm certainly not going to get it fixed by surgery. I like glasses, and if I want bulky muscles I can work out more. I'm average and I'm coolwith that.

5. My sense of humor. It's twisted yet not sick. I can find humor in pretty much any situation, can defuse tense situations, am pleasant to be around when things are not so good and am generally a comforting prescence.

Date: 2003-04-24 05:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] megoon.livejournal.com
3. my sexuality. I like being gay. I like men, I like sex with men, I like cuddling with men, I likethat it makes me different and helps me to stand out.

Well what a coincidence! Me too! And sometimes women... but that's a whole other story!

Re:

Date: 2003-04-24 05:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lincolnkw.livejournal.com
*gasp*

You're a gay man?

hee.

Re:

Date: 2003-04-24 06:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] megoon.livejournal.com
Well I'm missing the dangly bits... and I wear a bra... so in loosest sense of the term... yes? :)

Re:

Date: 2003-04-24 07:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lincolnkw.livejournal.com
hee!

Join the brotherhood as an honorary sister!

Re:

Date: 2003-04-24 07:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] megoon.livejournal.com
Does this mean I get lots of gay big brothers? Cause really I love my big bro but he's not gay... :)

Re:

Date: 2003-04-24 07:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lincolnkw.livejournal.com
wel I think Ian & I could probably count as godfather's of a sort. We're quite a bit older than you.

Re:

Date: 2003-04-24 07:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] megoon.livejournal.com
lol... So are the rest of my siblings. I'm adopted and the rest of them were in college when I was 2. But a godfather works too. I have no clue who the hell I'm supposed to call dad (adopted, biological, stepfather). I think they said my biological dad was killed in a gun fight in Ireland. My adoptive dad was just a complete ass. And me and my stepdad just dont mix, at all.

Date: 2003-04-24 08:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xoverau.livejournal.com
My answer is usually "nothing", what I did then has made me the person I am today, and while there are things currently I'd like changed (and am in the process of doing so, with some) the things from the past I'd let lie.

I know what you mean with your list of exceptions--I have a few, and some of them are the same as yours--but I think that this attitude, the let-it-lie one, is the most hopeful and productive you can have. The past is past.

I'm glad you can be satisfied. That's a good thing to know about yourself.

Re:

Date: 2003-04-24 08:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lincolnkw.livejournal.com
hmmm, no one says your "dad" has to be your dad. In my case, for quite a long time, my "dad" was a friend of my mothers. My father was in the Navy and we rarely saw him until I was 10 or so. So I always figure the family you "choose" is your true family. In the gay community so many of us don't have those ties to our true family, due to their unacceptance of our lives, that our chosen families become our real families. The ones we can rely on in times of crisis and need, the ones we can expect to be there when we want them or if we just want another body or ear. I'm closer to some of my friends than I am to many members of my real family.

The family we grow up with is the family we are given and just have to get along with in the worst case scenario. The family we spend the rest of our lives with is the family we choose.

Lord, that was soapboxy wasn't it?

Re:

Date: 2003-04-24 08:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lincolnkw.livejournal.com
heh. Doesn't mean I'm not working on little things as I type, but the big stuff in the past makes me who I am. I cope.

But not sayin' if I had a chance to go back....who knows. It'll certainly never happen so I don't sweat.


I so can't wait to see what happens when I'm in my 40s and have that midlife crisis. It's going to be either really interesting or nothing.
From: [identity profile] lincolnkw.livejournal.com
Well, thank you. Very much.

And ask/talk away. I live to serve.

No, really. I'm in retial.
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